ARTICLES

LETTING GO

Letting go requires a leap of faith.

Letting go means having faith in the future.

Faith that you WILL heal, cope and move on as you need to.

Letting go is a key life skill and whilst acknowledging that it is not always an easy thing to do, it is a fact that by choosing to release ourselves from what we have outgrown and weighs us down, or is just NOT good enough for us, is a pre-requisite for emotional balance and the opportunity to live a full and happier life. If it was easy everyone would do it, yet the practice of letting go is not actually as difficult as you think, particularly when our mindset is conducive to allowing change.

Fear and lack of self esteem plays a major part in why we stay within difficult personal and professional relationships, spend time with toxic 'friends', hold onto self sabotaging habits and behaviour, stay in unfulfilling jobs and unsupportive environments. Fear of the unknown and stepping out of our comfort zone holds us back. What a bizarre term of reference 'comfort zone' is when, for many people, what they are so tightly clinging to is far from comfortable.

Holding on for dear life to what causes us pain, discomfort and no longer supports us, is not going to enhance our journey through life.

In fact, choosing NOT to 'let go' often lowers and sometimes destroys, our self esteem and will certainly drain our energy. Not letting go affects our health, enthusiasm, vitality and zest for life and may well affect the next decision we make for ourselves and possibly our families. Equally important, until we let go we inhibit the next stage of our journey through this life and if, for example, it is a person to whom we are clinging albeit in an unhappy relationship, we inhibit their path too.

Here are some examples of things we tend not to let go of:

•  Marriages and partnerships which have completely broken down.

•  Toxic and needy 'friends' who drain our energy.

•  Environments in which we are no longer comfortable/fulfilled/appreciated - this may be work or where we spend time relaxing, even the home we live in.

•  Illusions . This can be the illusion of being in love with someone, or that a particular person is our friend when in fact they prove themselves not to be.

•  Unhappiness and the past ... time to let it go and move on.

•  Bereavement ... we tend to cling to feelings of grief, not realising that we are fearful of letting it go. Grief was the last emotion we felt at the time this loved one died and we subconsciously fear that by letting it go we will lose our last link to that person. The truth, however, is that we never lose that link. By letting go, we are then able to look back with love and laughter at the times we have shared with the person we have lost.

Quietening deeply at soul level strengthens our confidence, courage and self-esteem and is achieved through the daily practice of meditation. One of the net results of this regular practice (and once a week will not produce the same effects) is the quiet confidence in clear decision making, coupled with the required amount of healthy objectivity. Then we are able to look at our lives, face the truth and have the courage to take necessary action without undue drama.

Thirty minutes daily meditation enables us to detach from a painful and difficult experience or situation. It enables us to be more objective and willingly face the truth and take it on board, no matter how painful this may be. We mitigate fearful thinking and gain the courage to take that next important step and move forward with our lives.

Let's say we need to have a conversation with someone who has been offensive in their behaviour towards us. If our mind is quietened through meditation, we are able to get past our own heightened emotions (initial flight or fight response) and we find the words to convey our message in a measured yet firm way, with due compassion and respect for the other party, whilst not losing our self-respect by spitting venom through intense feelings of anger, frustration or hurt. Speaking about an emotional subject in this measured way will ensure we are listened to (heard), better understood and a more harmonious result is likely to follow.

Letting go is not only about the ending of relationships. We hold on to so many things which are not doing us much good.

Our work is just one other example. There are obvious and practical reasons why we stay in place of work, especially if we have dependants. However, there is always a way to change any situation if we explore our possibilities and then have the courage upon our findings to set things in place. Perhaps we have decided that a change of workplace or career is the only possibility but are too fearful to make the move. The next stage would be to take time to gather information, create a plan of action and lay foundations before actually quitting our present employment. With the clarity of a quietened mind we will be more able to navigate through this change, making the transition smoother, less traumatic and overall far more comfortable...............all achieved by letting go of the fear .

Meditation grows our faith and with this quietening comes guidance towards our true path.

Meditation marries up the physical and spiritual elements within us thus enabling us to 'fire on all cylinders'. It banishes the fear and confusion within our minds allowing us, with peace of mind, to 'LET GO'.

If you have an issue currently causing you distress in your life and you would like Sonia to help you, click here for enquiries on remote Intuitive Counselling.

Copyright: Sonia Wynn-Jones and Sue Blake June 2009